1. corporate cannibals using an electric fork

Results:
Found corperate cannibals but they would not cooperate. Could not locate electric fork.

2. a plump but firm steroidal schwarzenegger hitting 80 attached to a lightning rod in a thunderstorm

Result: Found Scchwarzenegger, would not return my emails; found lightning rod in thunderstorm, result: pain.

3. a new age publisher fetus implanted into ron hubbard's womb


Result: Communicated telepathicaly with ron hubbards womb; new age fetus did not return email.


4. connect yur kurzweil midi-controller to the sony robodog, place in microwave to high singularity heat and wait for Abba tunes
to radiate while your ATM account is fully withdrawn

Result: Easy to test since my ATM is always overdrawn; no Abba tunes produced...however did discover sony robodog difficult to remover from chest cavity. On a side note, slotted serving spoon is ideal robodog removal tool.


5. eduardo kac and j. craig venture's sperm swimming together in a luke warm petri dish under the light of a lava lamp until their dna spells out the future testament

Result : eduardo kac and j. craig venture would not return email. selling unused petri dishes and lava lamps on ebay.